An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night’s sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds, “Don’t touch me.”
“Why not?” he asks.
She answers back, “Because I’m dead.”
The husband says, “What are you talking about? We’re both lying here in bed together and talking to one another.”
She says, “No, I’m definitely dead.”
He insists, “You’re not dead. What in the world makes you think you’re dead?”
“Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts.”
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Feeling Great
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says …
“Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?”
Slim says, “I feel just like a new-born baby.”
“Really!? Like a new-born baby?”
“Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
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